I’ve been trying to own up to my whack decisions & behaviour, and a big one was mixing up self-reliance with independence. I view people getting close to me as a threat to my independence, not owning that I, like all humans, need other people. When we rely on each other, we’re better primed to take more risks, responsibility, grow and be more self-reliant, but my personal story made me think I had to do it on my own. What I feel like this skewed mindset creates is a bunch of lonely loners. We get overwhelmed by other people's company, but still want it every now & then.
On the other side, there are people that will do anything to keep others around, which can be just as unhealthy. Love often becomes transactional and we give it hoping for something in return, often feeling disappointed when our expectations aren’t met. That feeds a lot of self-pity.
We are a SOURCE of love more than a destination, and love isn’t just a thing, it’s an action. When we truly love for the sake of loving, we can fill our cups and share the overflow. We can build healthier INTERDEPENDENT relationships with others, acknowledge everyone’s needs.
Love doesn’t hurt people, people hurt people, and when we explore our intentions behind the love we give and chase, we’ll have more control to experience and share it more. We’ve all loved someone who didn’t/couldn’t reciprocate, and many of us have been that brick wall in the lives of others. Let’s all start with love for ourselves, and then see how much love we really need from others.
Social media sells B.S ideas of love, especially with carefully contrived #couplegoals photos, and corny captions highlighting a slice of someone’s love life. I’m working to connect with y’all off of social media so we can build a deeper relationship that doesn’t require us to get lost in this rabbit hole.
connect with me at humblethepoet.com/connect (link in bio). there you’ll find options for us to rock with each other outside of social media.